It’s natural to reflect on your life each year, but we often lack a structured way of doing this, so our insights fade. Here’s a simple and enjoyable writing exercise that will help you honor your life experiences.
The I Remember Exercise
Joe Brainard was an American, gay visual artist and occasional writer practicing from the 1960s-1990s. He brought a deceptively playful approach to his paintings and collage works, which are full of wonder and humor. Brainard collaborated with many poets and writers in New York creative circles and with poet friends growing up in Tulsa. This affinity led him to his own writing.
In 1969, Joe Brainard developed an evocative writing form called “I Remember.” This reflective prompt starts with the sentence stem “I remember,” and then he’d write a brief recollection full of detail in conversational language. You can read an excerpt from his book I Remember reissued by Granary Books in 2001, or you can also listen to Brainard reading. Here are a few lines.
I remember fancy yo-yos studded with rhinestones.
I remember once when it was raining on one side of our fence but not on the other.
I remember rainbows that didn’t live up to my expectations.
I remember big puzzles on card tables that never got finished. (Brainard 73-74)
Now, it’s your turn to try. We’ll do this in two phases: first, a warm up, then a reflection on the last year.
Exercise 1: I Remember
This exercise is simple:
Start with a blank sheet of paper or a new doc / note, set a timer for 10 minutes, and start writing.
Write the phrase “I remember,” add a short memory from any time in your life to finish the sentence, then repeat. Keep your pen moving or fingers typing the whole time.
Each one can be about anything you recall from your life, both big stuff or small details. Most importantly, don’t analyze or filter whatever pops up. Simply write it down and keep going.
If you get stuck, write down what’s happening at the moment. For example:
“I can’t stop thinking about picking up the kids in twenty minutes from Hamilton Elementary and what mood they’ll be in. I’m stuck, so I keep writing, blah, blah, blah. I remember that last spring when I picked up Tommy from school he barfed in the glove box, and the scent still lingers on hot summer days.”
After the timer goes off, read them out loud to yourself and reflect.
What stands out to you as you reread yours? Any themes or emotions pop up? Does anything surprise you? What was it like to try this exercise?
If it helps, write down your answers for these reflective questions.
Exercise 2: I Remember This Year
Now that you’re warmed up, let’s shift to honoring your experience over the past year.
At the top of a new page, write the phrase “I Remember This Year” or whatever makes sense to you.
Again, start your 10 minute timer, write the phrase “I remember,” and get going, but focus only on recollections from this past year.
Make room for the full scope of your life, so bring in all your experiences whether good or bad, small or complex.
Again, don’t overthink it, and don’t stop writing. Let each “I Remember” be quick and loose. Trust that whatever comes to mind is good enough.
When the timer goes off, take a moment to read these out loud.
Any themes or emotions you noticed while rereading? Any surprising recollections? What was it like to honor your life in this exercise? Is there still more writing to get out? If so, keep going.
Some Other Things to Try
Consider recruiting a friend or small group of people to write together. When done, ask people if they want to share what they wrote, but don’t pressure someone if they don’t want to read, and don’t critique – just listen as an act of honoring each other’s experiences.
Set a reminder to do this exercise at the end of each year or around your birthday. If you do this annually, they’ll accumulate, and you’ll have these snap shots of what your life was like over time.
Reach out for Support
Sometimes, but not always, doing this exercise can conjure up painful memories or emotions. This is normal because you’re honoring the full scope of your life, and we all have complex histories. To reground, do something you enjoy after writing, or try the Butterfly Hug that I wrote about in another post.
If the thoughts, feelings, or memories keep coming up in uncomfortable ways, this could indicate it’s time to try or restart therapy. Use the contact form to schedule a 15-minute consultation with Todd McCarty at Aspire Psychotherapy. Let’s discuss how therapy could help you because some things we aren’t meant to do alone.
This article is meant for informational use only and should not be taken as medical advice nor as a mental health diagnostic tool. If you are experiencing a mental health emergency, please dial 911 or report to your local emergency room.