Holiday Survival Guide: How to Stay Calm & Slay

Effective Self-Care Strategies

The holidays are often full of celebrations and social events that can feel fun and taxing. Here are some self-care tips about socializing, substance use, and personal boundaries to help maintain emotional balance at the end of year.

Balanced Socializing

The holiday season offers more opportunities for parties and celebrations, which can feel exciting, stressful or both. The key is making time for socializing with people who make you feel safe and comfortable. Positive social time can help you feel seen and heard, which can calm your nervous system. 

If socializing causes you anxiety, first determine if the event is a command performance or if a brief appearance will do. If you have to go, but feel apprehensive, see if you can bring a plus one or a trusted colleague you enjoy being around. The key is finding a person that makes you feel comfortable.

If it's an unavoidable obligation, you can always arrive late and leave early to limit your time. Also, consider doing The Butterfly Hug before or even during the event if you can manage a couple minutes alone. This simple exercise is designed to slow your nervous system a little by signaling to your brain you’re safe. Whether it's a game night, a holiday-themed event, or just grabbing coffee with a good friend, creating connected social time can help you relax and enjoy.

Substance Use Moderation

Lets face it, holiday celebrations may involve consuming alcohol, cannabis, or maybe other recreational drugs. Whether to enhance enjoyment or cope with discomfort, social situations may increase emotions like anxiety or sadness, so it’s sometimes easy to over-indulge to numb your feelings. 

Consume alcohol with food and water because this will slow alcohol absorption in your system to reduce the chance of over-indulging. If you know you’re going to drink or use recreational drugs, make a safety plan before the event and stick to it by using a harm reduction approach. If you have a favorite substance, consider reducing the amount or type. For instance, if you like shots of hard liquor, substitute with a mixer on ice in a tall glass. If you usually have five drinks, try two or three instead. Also avoid mixing different substances, since it can increase intoxication and create unpredictable or dangerous results.

Finally, don’t drive if you’ve consumed any substance because your judgement is always impaired first. That means it’s easier to make poor decisions when you feel good. Designate a sober driver so you don’t put yourself and others at risk. These simple steps will help you stay more present, keep you safe, and ensure you feel balanced the following day.

Managing Personal Boundaries

Social obligations, like family celebrations, can create joy and discomfort, especially when stuck with historically strained relationships in the current political climate. Understanding your personal boundaries is an important way to feel some control in social situations. 

Personal boundaries are a way of defining your internal and external space. When you exert boundaries, you tell people what is acceptable or not concerning your needs. If someone doesn’t respect your boundaries, you’ll often feel on-edge, shut down, or unsafe. An example is someone leaning too close during conversation, and you could say, "I get uncomfortable when people stand close to me. Please step back to give me some room."

I recommend reading these two posts boundary setting. The first is Healthline’s No BS Guide to Protecting Your Emotional Space. It lays out the basics about boundaries and how to assert them. The second is Courage & MIndful’s People-Pleasers Guide to Setting Boundaries. This blog is a deep dive on setting boundaries with links to many helpful resources, especially if you struggle with asserting your needs. Both resources provide simple steps and helpful examples that will help you feel more confident to try.

The reality is learning to set emotional boundaries may feel awkward at first because you have to voice your needs instead of hoping someone will notice your hint. The good news is boundary setting is a skill, so you will get better over time. That said, safety is an important factor, so determine beforehand how safe the situation is and decide what topics you want to set parameters around, like politics or aspects of your identity. If it doesn’t feel safe, then consider arriving late and leaving early. It may feel uncomfortable, but you have the right to feel respected and safe during holiday socializing.

Find Support to Manage Holiday Stress

Practicing emotional and physical self-care for end-of-year celebrations can create balance during this exciting and stressful time. The truth is the holiday season can be difficult for some people, which is quite common, but seeing other people’s joy may shut you down. Whether you're feeling overwhelmed by social situations, experiencing increased substance use, or feeling isolated due life circumstances, you don’t have to suffer alone. If you’d like to find some support and relief, contact Todd McCarty at Aspire Psychotherapy to get the help you deserve. The holidays aren’t just about caring for others. They’re also about caring for yourself.

This article is meant for informational use only and should not be taken as medical advice nor as a mental health diagnostic tool. If you are experiencing a mental health emergency, please dial 911 or report to your local emergency room.